Hello RSE,

My name is Jennifer I am 21 years old and from Germany. I’d like to give feedback about my journey during the Advanced Structured Discipline Days.
This event was magical. I had such profound experiences. As I had finally understood after the Class 201 in June, that the Great Work is not about success and failure but about the FUTURE, I started this event with a completely different attitude.

Reminding myself all the time it is not about the environmental outcome but about working on being present, I said: “This time I will not break down because I didn’t find my card or didn’t hit a target. I will willfully keep going no matter the outcome because I want my future more than a piece of paper and I will not allow feeling like a failure ever again.’’

So I self-corrected the whole event. Not only during the disciplines but every single moment. I refused making myself a victim of the attitudes or assuming and expecting because I had self-corrected so much the day before — today it MUST be done. No, I kept going. Every morning I woke up being bombarded by my greatest fears and limitations. But I just continued making my way out by patiently correcting them over and over again — not with a cramp or trying — but with a determined, willful and light-hearted passion.

Sometimes during my Neighborhood Walk® I didn’t even get through a whole sentence because after every step I had to stop and restart. But I always kept reminding myself: “… with each self-correction, I’m kicking these attitudes out and the reward will be my future.”

So every field became an intentional, willful battle to destroy the past through unemotional observation. I didn’t suppress my attitudes anymore, I welcomed them to show up. Every time I stopped and self-corrected, I blew the secret out and re-focused again until I finally came to the point where my mind got clearer and I felt lighter.

As we were reminded by a teaching from Ramtha about the importance of the posture, I also changed the physical way of doing my disciplines. I started to increase the tension of my whole body for every single breath, kept the spine always straight, also during the Neighborhood Walk®, and only by doing this correctly I felt energy starting to move and becoming much more present.

After the third morning session of Fieldwork® followed by Twilight®, I felt a climax of attitudes bubbling up and that I had to cry it out. So I decided to interrupt Twilight®, I left the hall and released it.

As we then went on the field I felt I was shifted. I had such a silence in my head, there were no voices anymore. I just observed my card, reminding myself what Laura had told us before, ”Be the great Nobody”, and walked with such a lightness. I felt the wind and Ram being with me and at one point, all of my three cards started to show up in one picture.

I heard Ramtha’s voice from the C&E® Torsion field process in my head ”Quantum Leap, from one square to another”, combined with seeing the picture of a person jumping from one point of the grid to another (which is available in the Quantum Café) and under that new point the unfolding of my dreams in a torsion field. I just observed this play as a film, I didn’t feel time, I was enchanted by what I saw and then I heard a voice “You are now in the future; you made it”.

Shortly after this experience Laura said, ”If you want continue stay on the field, otherwise you are now on a dinner break’.’ My personality immediately switched in and all the voices broke out again: “Should I stay?” … ”You had an experience; maybe you did enough. Ram said know when it’s time to stop” … ”What if I am now not strong enough and go back to the past and lose my future?”… I was so perplexed by all the voices that I decided to either move on or leave the field. I just stood and observed the whirling of voices and its reappearing emotions in my body.

After a period of time it calmed a bit down and I heard a voice ”This is your greatest fear of loss and failure. Keep going … conquer this”. So I had my clarity I started to blow out this fear and continued my journey on the field feeling completely re-energized. After the field was over, I felt such a satisfaction to have faced an attitude I had been analogical with for a long time and almost fell for again.
The next day during our morning session of Archery, Mike told us, ”It is our 4th day, the day of the 4th seal, keep going with a light heart and love what you do’’.

Together with the experiences of my previous Fieldwork® session I felt even more inspired that I was so looking forward to conquering more of myself, I totally forgot about the need to find my card (haha!).
I kept looking at the vision of my three cards as one and as I came to the fence (during all the session of Fieldwork®, I barely hit the fence at all). I touched a card and removed my blinders. It felt like waking up from a dream. I turned it over … and it was MY CARD. The second card in my life. Oh my God, I was so excited!!
I screamed, “Oh my God, I found my Card,” and almost overran Laura. I was so happy because I knew I had labored righteously for it with an impeccability of refusing to walk as the image but to rather prefer not to move at all until I am clear in my mind.

After the event was over I felt a profound self-worth. This was much more important to me than the piece of paper (even though it was a great proof for being present) — and for the first time ever in my whole life I was able to say “I am really proud of myself!!”
The value and self-esteem afterwards of knowing you gave 100 percent is inexpressible. Even if I wouldn’t have found my card I knew I would have been proud regardless, because of knowing I didn’t waste a moment.
Now it is my truth that this is the way it works: Never give up, keep self-correcting until it is over — no matter how long it takes!
As I mentioned in the beginning: It is not about success and failure — it is about our FUTURE. Do we want it more than anything else? Than we have to give more into it than we have ever given before for anything!!
I remember Ramtha saying at the Spring Reunion that if we would have self-corrected all the time we would have had our fabulous wealth!! We can all do it that way. Let’s cut the heads of our demons off and wake up every morning with the will to make more space for our future.
I love my great work and the more I understand what it really is about, the more I fall in love with it.

Thank you JZ for offering this and to Mike and Laura for your daily motivations. I can’t express my gratitude — The event changed my life!!

Lots of Love and looking forward to continuing with my journey.

Jennifer Schiron